It's been right around 5 months since I last went to work.
I do other things - photography, card making, scrapbooking, piano lessons, baking etc. - as little side jobs.
But as of right now, my going to work looks an awful lot like staying home (mostly in my jammies because that whole line about getting dressed makes you feel like being more productive just kind of made me want to punch people in the neck instead of actually be productive) and taking care of my home and my family.
The problem here is that while I absolutely love being home, I can be incredibly lazy.
I can spend a whole day on Pinterest. Or Facebook. Or binge watching Netflix. And, all of a sudden, it's 2:15 and I have yet to shower, or make the bed, or figure out what's for dinner, or clean anything - most days I have forgotten to eat...and I feel horrible at the end of the day. Grumpy. Useless.
I can also be incredibly creative.
Other days I spend all day in my Deb Cave. Crafting. Scrapbooking. Carding. Those days, my creative spirit smiles, and I'm joyful, content, and happy - until I emerge from my cave and find that it's once again 2:15...
I can also be incredibly productive.
There have been weeks where every day, I busted out a serious to do list of cleaning/organizing/purging. But around 2:15, I was still unshowered, unfed, and completely ornery.
And there are days that, for my own healing, are days filled with a whole lot of tears, reflection, reading, sleeping, studying, and prayer. And at 2:15, well, those days look just like the other days.
Luke asked me one day what I do all day on the days that he comes home and he can see my happy and feel the peace in our home. (Now don't get all ticked off at him - he didn't ask me like that!!). He was just curious. I told him I mostly craft, cook, and clean.
And we burst out laughing because, seriously, CLEAN (as a verb!!) made it into my top 3 list of things I do on a good day?! Ha.
The ironic thing about being a homemaker (oh, how I adore that title!) is that the days I enjoy the very most - the days where I am completely at peace and my home feels peaceful and calm and happy - are the days where I combine all of the parts of me.
Today, well, today, I wasn't sure what today would be. I started off the day with the bed made, laundry started, McKayslin off to school, a completed scrapbook page, and breakfast eaten. I stopped by Pinterest for a minute to check out a few pins from last night. And, knowing what would likely happen, I stayed there...
And was sucked into the Little Girl Designs page after clicking through Pinterest about letter writing. There, through a series of other clicks, I found exactly what I needed for today.
She referenced several articles that really caught my attention...
Consume Less. Create More. At first, I thought this was another article on minimalism, which fascinates me, so I clicked over. It's so not. Consuming doesn't have to be stuff - it can be things that take our time - learning is the big one touched on here.
And this one: The Simple Truth About Happiness.
This. So much this.
And so I did something. I took two challenges from Little Girl Designs (#2030create) and (#bringbacksnailmail) - both old challenges, but exactly what I needed today.
I quickly chose a couple of pieces of paper (which ended up being replaced because they didn't match after I colored the image), a couple of stamp sets, and decided who I needed to write to and got to work. 28 minutes (plus 42 seconds) later, I had a delightful little card made, written in, addressed, and in the mailbox. My heart smiled.
Then I got up out of my chair, left the Deb Cave, and folded the laundry. And put my clean clothes away. And figured out what was going to be for dinner. And wrote this blog post.
Today, I remember, that my happy is found when I combine all of the parts of me. Today, I will make something else. I will play the piano. I will eat delicious food. I will watch a show. I will clean something. I will shower, actually get dressed (maybe one day I won't want to punch people in the neck when I'm not in my jammies), do my hair, and wear make-up.
Today, I will choose happiness.